Wednesday, December 26, 2012

When Tebow's a Jet, he's not a Jet all the way

Continuing the quest to make this the top corner of the Internet for Tim Tebow song parodies, here's the latest one that popped into my mind: a rewrite of the first part of West Side Story's "Jet Song", set last week before Rex Ryan reportedly asked Tebow to play Wildcat QB and Tebow reportedly turned him down...

REX RYAN: Against the Chargers, we need every man we got.

GREG MCELROY: Tim don't belong any more.

REX: Cut it, Alabama boy! Even if I won't let Tim start for the Jets.

MCELROY: Well, he acts like he don't wanna belong.

JEREMY KERLEY: Who wouldn't wanna belong to the Jets?!

MCELROY: Tim ain't been with us for over a season.

DUSTIN KELLER: What about the day we clobbered the Colts?

JOE MCKNIGHT: Which we couldn't have done without Tim.

KERLEY: He saved my ever-lovin' quarterback rating!

RYAN: Right! He's always come through for us and he will now.

When you're a Jet,
You're a Jet all the way
From your first goddamned snack
To your last dyin' day.

When you're a Jet,
If the blitz hits the fan,
You got linemen around,
You're a pocket-passing man!

You're never alone,
Your headset's never disconnected!
You're home with your own:
When a pass rush is expected,
You're well protected!

Then you are set
With a capital J,
Which you'll never forget
Till they cart you away.
When you're a Jet,
You stay a Jet!

I know Tim like I know me. I guarantee you can count him in.

MCELROY: In, out, let's get crackin'.

KELLER: Where you gonna find Norv Turner?

RYAN: At the dance today at the Meadowlands.

SANTONIO HOLMES: Hey, that's supposed to be our territory!

RYAN: I'm gonna make nice there! I'm only gonna use my challenges more effectively than him.

MCKNIGHT: Great, Daddy-O!

RYAN: So everybody dress up sweet and sharp.

For reference, the original:

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