Wednesday, December 26, 2012

When Tebow's a Jet, he's not a Jet all the way

Continuing the quest to make this the top corner of the Internet for Tim Tebow song parodies, here's the latest one that popped into my mind: a rewrite of the first part of West Side Story's "Jet Song", set last week before Rex Ryan reportedly asked Tebow to play Wildcat QB and Tebow reportedly turned him down...

REX RYAN: Against the Chargers, we need every man we got.

GREG MCELROY: Tim don't belong any more.

REX: Cut it, Alabama boy! Even if I won't let Tim start for the Jets.

MCELROY: Well, he acts like he don't wanna belong.

JEREMY KERLEY: Who wouldn't wanna belong to the Jets?!

MCELROY: Tim ain't been with us for over a season.

DUSTIN KELLER: What about the day we clobbered the Colts?

JOE MCKNIGHT: Which we couldn't have done without Tim.

KERLEY: He saved my ever-lovin' quarterback rating!

RYAN: Right! He's always come through for us and he will now.

Justin McElroy's "Tebow, The Weak-Armed Bronco"

In an effort to corner the market on Tim Tebow-themed musical compositions, here's another one! This isn't even written by me, but was brilliantly put together in a Christmas Eve series of tweets by Global's Justin McElroy (a former CIS Blog colleague). Here they are, preserved in a Storify for posterity and ease of reading:

Thursday, December 20, 2012

The Wisdom Of The Internets

I normally don't advocate reading comments, but the brilliance of a few of the best ones on my 55-Yard Line piece about Tim Tebow should be preserved for posterity:

What the hell do you know about football to say that about T-Bow. He took Denver to the playoffs you idiot!! His record isnt' any good because he is NOT used!!! Remember .... Gators ..... DUH!!! Get a job Bucholtz.. you obviously know nothing about foot ball!!!
tebow was what?7&1 with a playoff win last year?bucholtz your daddies little reporter not a sports analyst.Now 7&1 doesn t mean he is the greatest but the nfl is tough ask sanchez,or does he suck too?football is a team game not some #$%$ with a tache writing alone in his wackoff lair.would he be good in cfl??i think Jacksonville would give him a shot before that happened.
I love when these little twerp sports reporters, who never played a single down of football, make fun of Tebow as if he is some sort of clown. The truth is, the typist who wrote this article doesn't like Tebow because he prays openly. It's simple. A shallow little man like Bucholtz isn't half the man Tebow is. And from the picture at the top, I don't think too many pretty girls are breaking down his door to get a date, as they seem to be with Tebow. I guess the world will always be full of shallow little men. Sigh.
What a shoddy excuse at "journalism" penned by an obviously myoptic hater with a chip on his shoulder. Back to writing obituaries, eh? Guess you're still ticked off over losing that plum job at National Enquier. What a hack.
you are a sanctimonious jerk off.
Gretzky was too small and too slow .... All he and Tebow have ever done is win ... You can expect a head from your #$%$ extractor for Christmas ... Enjoy it !!!
so does it just totally suck being canadian? is that why you wrote this bizarre little comment?
Now, back to your regularly scheduled avoidance of comment sections...