Sporting Madness

There's nothing like a good round of recasting TV or movies for sports , and one particular adaptation that's been in my head for a while (thanks to Twitter discussions with Jenn Annis and Matthew Scianitti ) is a CFL version of The Lord of the Rings . Given that I spend far too much time thinking about the CFL and am a complete Lord of the Rings nerd, this was an obvious choice. Here's what I came up with. (Keep in mind this is all in fun, and not meant to suggest that certain teams or personalities are good or evil!) Jim Popp/Montreal as Sauron/Mordor : If anyone deserves the title of Lord of the Rings in the CFL at the moment, Popp's a good candidate. (You can make a case for Wally Buono as well, as he actually has five Grey Cup rings to Popp's four, but Montreal's eastern geography, long string of divisional championships,  recent back-to-back Grey Cups and overarching dominance speak in favour of Popp, plus there's a better fit for Buono later on.)...

In tribute to the awesomeness that is former NHLer and current Florida Panthers play-by-play man Randy Moller and his pop-culture references after goal celebrations [ Greg Wyshynski , Puck Daddy ], here's a list of the top 10 other references I'd love to hear in Florida games, followed by a list of top 10 references that could be used more generically. Good for Moller for having some fun with the game. Video's embedded below after the lists; feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments! Florida games: 10. " Horton beats Brodeur with a slap shot! Have another donut , you fat pig!" 9. " Campbell scores! How 'bout a painting of that one, Warhol ! 8. " Lang 's carrying the puck through centre and loses it to Bouwmeester . Here comes Bouwmeester flying in all alone, and he beats Price with a low stick-side blast to give the Panthers the win! Jay and Silent Bob strike back !" 7. " McLean scores against Mason ! And that's t...

"We must kill them. We must incinerate them. Pig after pig. Cow after cow. Village after village. Army after army. And they call me an assassin. What do you call it when the assassins accuse the assassin? They lie. They lie, and we have to be merciful, for those who lie. Those nabobs. I hate them. I do hate them." - Marlon Brando as Colonel Walter E. Kurtz in Apocalypse Now (Photo from Michael Heilemann ) "The European Union is an economic and political power with 27 members and 30 (soccer) associations — 15 per cent of the total of the FIFA family. Shall they make the rules for all the others? This is political interference. We should not be afraid to intervene." - FIFA president Joseph S. "Sepp" Blatter What's the connection between one of Hollywood's most interesting characters and the world soccer El Supremo? It's not as far-fetched as you might think. One is a power-crazed maniac willing to do anything to accomplish his nefarious goals; t...