Sporting Madness

Continuing the quest to make this the top corner of the Internet for Tim Tebow song parodies , here's the latest one that popped into my mind: a rewrite of the first part of West Side Story's "Jet Song", set last week before Rex Ryan reportedly asked Tebow to play Wildcat QB and Tebow reportedly turned him down ... REX RYAN: Against the Chargers, we need every man we got. GREG MCELROY: Tim don't belong any more. REX: Cut it, Alabama boy! Even if I won't let Tim start for the Jets. MCELROY: Well, he acts like he don't wanna belong. JEREMY KERLEY: Who wouldn't wanna belong to the Jets?! MCELROY: Tim ain't been with us for over a season. DUSTIN KELLER: What about the day we clobbered the Colts? JOE MCKNIGHT: Which we couldn't have done without Tim. KERLEY: He saved my ever-lovin' quarterback rating! RYAN: Right! He's always come through for us and he will now.

In an effort to corner the market on Tim Tebow-themed musical compositions , here's another one! This isn't even written by me, but was brilliantly put together in a Christmas Eve series of tweets by Global's Justin McElroy (a former CIS Blog colleague). Here they are, preserved in a Storify for posterity and ease of reading:

When I wrote a total conversion of Andrew Lloyd Webber's famed Jesus Christ Superstar rock opera about Denver Broncos' quarterback Tim Tebow, most of it fit surprisingly well. The issue, of course, was betrayal, though; while Tebow may be overhyped and overrated, it was difficult to imagine his own team turning against him, so I had to concoct a Spygatesque plot to get it to work. Truth remains stranger than fiction ( a surprisingly excellent movie , by the way), however, and the Broncos have just executed a stunning betrayal of Tebow (who did manage to lead them to a playoff win over Pittsburgh before getting crushed by New England), signing Peyton Manning to take over at quarterback . To that end, I've quickly rewritten the last three songs to reflect this new reality. Here they are, with Broncos' executive vice-president John Elway (the man who got the Manning deal done ) as Judas, Manning and ESPN analyst Mel Kiper (one of the most prominent Tebow critics) as Annas...

Top CFL free agent Andy Fantuz is apparently off in Africa somewhere,and hasn't signed anywhere yet. Glen Maskerine had the brilliant idea to reference Toto's famous song, and that inspired me to rewrite the lyrics for him. Here you are: They hear the tweets echoing tonight But I hear only whispers of some CFL conversation GMs are coming in, 12:30 flight The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards free agency I stopped an old man along the way Hoping to find some long-forgotten wisdom or means of celebrity He turned to me as if to say, "Hurry boy, money's waiting there for you" It's gonna take a lot to get me to sign with you There's nothing a hundred thousand bucks could ever do I bless the rains down in Africa Gonna take some time to sign the deal I've never had The wild Riders' fans cry out in the night As they grow restless, longing for some WR company I know that I must do what's right As sure as sales ...