The theory of Uglyball

We can't all be serious all the time, as that would be no fun. The guys over at the excellent Style Points are rarely serious, but exceptionally funny. However, the humour value of their site may be about to go in the tank, as they asked me to write a guest post for them. After much deliberation, I figured their site would be the perfect place to present a long-held theory of mine: Uglyball, the key to winning at soccer.

As most people know, Manchester United continued their Premier League dominance this year, picking up yet another title. Many different reasons have been floated for their success, including Sir Alex Ferguson's managerial skills, their financial strength and their depth. However, detailed analysis by Oxbridge professor Louis Michael (no relation at all to Michael Lewis) has confirmed my suspicions that there's something else at play here. The real key to victory is finding the ugliest strikers possible and unleashing them, which Ferguson has proven remarkably successful at over the years.

It's just amazing that it's taken this long to figure out. Eric Cantona, Ruud Van Nistelrooy, Wayne Rooney, Louis Saha, Carlos Tevez and Dimitar Berbatov? That's an incredible collection of ugly striking talent. For more insight into how Ferguson pulled this off, the true meanings of such stats as UORP, OPS, and OBP, and how this revolution has affected the lives of famous fans like Rick Hornsby (no relation to Nick Hornby) read the full piece over at Style Points!