Sporting Madness

Continuing the quest to make this the top corner of the Internet for Tim Tebow song parodies , here's the latest one that popped into my mind: a rewrite of the first part of West Side Story's "Jet Song", set last week before Rex Ryan reportedly asked Tebow to play Wildcat QB and Tebow reportedly turned him down ... REX RYAN: Against the Chargers, we need every man we got. GREG MCELROY: Tim don't belong any more. REX: Cut it, Alabama boy! Even if I won't let Tim start for the Jets. MCELROY: Well, he acts like he don't wanna belong. JEREMY KERLEY: Who wouldn't wanna belong to the Jets?! MCELROY: Tim ain't been with us for over a season. DUSTIN KELLER: What about the day we clobbered the Colts? JOE MCKNIGHT: Which we couldn't have done without Tim. KERLEY: He saved my ever-lovin' quarterback rating! RYAN: Right! He's always come through for us and he will now.

In an effort to corner the market on Tim Tebow-themed musical compositions , here's another one! This isn't even written by me, but was brilliantly put together in a Christmas Eve series of tweets by Global's Justin McElroy (a former CIS Blog colleague). Here they are, preserved in a Storify for posterity and ease of reading:

When I wrote a total conversion of Andrew Lloyd Webber's famed Jesus Christ Superstar rock opera about Denver Broncos' quarterback Tim Tebow, most of it fit surprisingly well. The issue, of course, was betrayal, though; while Tebow may be overhyped and overrated, it was difficult to imagine his own team turning against him, so I had to concoct a Spygatesque plot to get it to work. Truth remains stranger than fiction ( a surprisingly excellent movie , by the way), however, and the Broncos have just executed a stunning betrayal of Tebow (who did manage to lead them to a playoff win over Pittsburgh before getting crushed by New England), signing Peyton Manning to take over at quarterback . To that end, I've quickly rewritten the last three songs to reflect this new reality. Here they are, with Broncos' executive vice-president John Elway (the man who got the Manning deal done ) as Judas, Manning and ESPN analyst Mel Kiper (one of the most prominent Tebow critics) as Annas...

The following is the culmination of a project I’ve been working on for a few weeks. It started as just a Twitter joke about the applicability of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Jesus Christ Superstar musical to Tim Tebow’s rise and fall, but got stuck in my head and turned into something more. Sure, Tebow isn’t playing in today’s Super Bowl, but he’s still very much present in the coverage; he notably drew more attention than Joe Montana at one point and was featured in an ESPN pre-game special. Given that his mortal adversaries, the Patriots, are featured in today’s Super Bowl, I figured it was as good a time as any to post this (that, and I finally finished it). Following in the success of The Marchand Of Venice , the Bucholtz Repertory Company presents the total conversion of Jesus Christ Superstar into Tebow Christ Superstar. Dramatis Personae Jesus – Tim Tebow, a TE or a QB? Judas –John Fox, the Broncos’ coach Caiaphas – Bill Belichick, the Patriots’ coach Annas – Tom Brady, the Patrio...

It's no secret that sports media as a whole are collectively losing their minds over Denver Broncos' quarterback Tim Tebow, who embraces all the clichés about "will to win" and somehow triumphs despite not usually being, you know, a good quarterback. It's even less surprising that the Worldwide Leader In Vaguely Sports-Related News is leading the charge. Still, as Adam Kramer remarked earlier, ESPN's piece asking LeBron James what he thinks of Tim Tebow is the most ESPN story of all time. Surely that means the ESPNocalypse is near, especially as certain newspapers have already ventured into hellfire and damnation (as you can see from the Boston Metro cover at right). In the spirit of that, we present two pieces. First, a dramatic reworking of the first three paragraphs of Grantland Rice's " Four Horsemen ", timely considering how ESPN has appropriated the man's name : Outlined against a blue screen in Bristol, Connecticut, the Four Horse...