Sporting Madness

The people from Taiwan's  Next Media Animation   have their own take on who to root for in the Stanley Cup finals, plus how to make them more interesting. Check it out: Best use of a tiger since John Cleese's classes in self-defence against fresh fruit:

We can't all be serious all the time, as that would be no fun. The guys over at the excellent Style Points are rarely serious, but exceptionally funny. However, the humour value of their site may be about to go in the tank, as they asked me to write a guest post for them. After much deliberation, I figured their site would be the perfect place to present a long-held theory of mine: Uglyball, the key to winning at soccer. As most people know, Manchester United continued their Premier League dominance this year, picking up yet another title. Many different reasons have been floated for their success, including Sir Alex Ferguson 's managerial skills, their financial strength and their depth. However, detailed analysis by Oxbridge professor Louis Michael (no relation at all to Michael Lewis ) has confirmed my suspicions that there's something else at play here. The real key to victory is finding the ugliest strikers possible and unleashing them, which Ferguson has proven rem...

All right, so this is going to be an unusual post. A while ago, Bill Simmons dubbed Houston Rockets' GM Daryl Morey "Dork Elvis" for his following among MIT grad students and basketball fans of a statistical bent. It got me thinking about comparisons between the rise of sabermetrics and sports blogs and the rise of rock and roll, and led to a great Twitter conversation with MC Bias and Craig Barker , which in turn inspired me to turn the idea into a post. I've already psychoanalyzed the blogosphere , so now it's time to turn it into rock format. Now, obviously all blogs aren't sabermetric-based and not all sabermetricians work on blogs, but the common thread between the two is that they were both ideas traditionally overlooked by the mainstream media that rapidly became popular and (somewhat) adopted by the mainstream. Thus, I've tried to combine the two a bit. My comparisons are below. Of course they're not going to be perfect matches, but I thoug...

Well, the Jim Balsillie story continues to develop. The most interesting news since my last post is that of Gary Bettman 's apocalyptic reaction yesterday [ James Mirtle , From the Rink ]. I'll have more analysis on this one later, but for now, I figured I'd start the day with an appropriate song. Here is my version of "The Ballad of Jim and Gary" (apologies to The Beatles ): Standing on the plane down to Phoenix, Trying to get the team refinanced. The man in the back said, "Jim Balsillie's back". I said "Hell no! Just give us a chance." Jim, you know it ain't easy, You know how hard it can be. But the way things are going You're gonna crucify me. At first, things with Jim went so well, In Pittsburgh, we thought he'd be fine. But then the press called to say, "He wants to move away," So I told him he had to refrain. Jim, you know it ain't easy, You know how hard it can be. But the way things are going You're ...

Through a friend getting some tickets unexpectedly, I managed to make it to last night's Vancouver Canucks - L.A. Kings game. The game was quite good, and I'll have a few thoughts on it to post later. However, what stood out the most from the experience was the Canucks' bizarre mascot logic. Typically, they're no less ridiculous than the vast majority of professional sports teams. Their star mascot is "Fin", an orca, which fits in nicely with the area's heritage and natural surroundings and also with the team's logo. I'm not a fan of mascots in general, but this one isn't too offensive. However, some brilliant mind thought it would be a good idea to give "Fin" some bunny ears for Easter. The results? Horrific, and potential " Nightmare Fuel ". It looks like a mad rabbit/killer whale escaped from the Island of Dr. Moreau . This monster will crush its enemies, see them driven before it, and hear the lamentation of their women...

(Note: this is a tongue-in-cheek parody of this First Things article by Webb about how soccer is ruining America. The words I've changed are in bold.) Update: 11:43 P.M. Links and some further thoughts added at the end of the post. Update, March 27 : It's become clear that Webb intended his article as satire. Still, it was pretty harsh and at least some of the criticisms seemed genuine. Anyway, the guys from the excellent Avoiding The Drop spoke to Webb and had him watch a soccer game for the first time ever and report in. I guarantee you'll like him much more after reading this. Sounds like they may even have made a convert! (By the way, he also talked to Jason of Match Fit USA before this and I missed it. Also worth a read). Soccer is Stephen H. Webb and his ilk are running America into the ground, and there is very little anyone can do about it. Social critics have long observed that we live in a therapeutic society that treats young people critics of soccer a...

In tribute to the awesomeness that is former NHLer and current Florida Panthers play-by-play man Randy Moller and his pop-culture references after goal celebrations [ Greg Wyshynski , Puck Daddy ], here's a list of the top 10 other references I'd love to hear in Florida games, followed by a list of top 10 references that could be used more generically. Good for Moller for having some fun with the game. Video's embedded below after the lists; feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments! Florida games: 10. " Horton beats Brodeur with a slap shot! Have another donut , you fat pig!" 9. " Campbell scores! How 'bout a painting of that one, Warhol ! 8. " Lang 's carrying the puck through centre and loses it to Bouwmeester . Here comes Bouwmeester flying in all alone, and he beats Price with a low stick-side blast to give the Panthers the win! Jay and Silent Bob strike back !" 7. " McLean scores against Mason ! And that's t...

This is pretty awesome. (Thanks to the incredible FailBlog )

Ever had an injury so unbelievable or embarrassing that you're afraid to tell people what happened? You're in good company. Check out this list of injuries picked up by major leaguers (link thanks to All Your Base Are Belong to Rios ). Here's my favorites: Item: Outfielder Vince Coleman missed the entire 1985 World Series after being rolled up in the tarp machine at Busch Stadium Comment: Seriously? You know you're in trouble defensively when your outfielders can't outrun the tarp machine. No wonder the Cards lost that series... Item: Hall of Fame pitcher Phil Niekro was injured while shaking hands. Comment: This provides a new excuse for ballplayers uncomfortable around the public. Item: John Smoltz burned his chest while ironing the shirt he was wearing. Comment: Proving you don't need to be too smart to be a good pitcher. Item: Carlos Zambrano was diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome after spending as many as five hours daily on the Internet. Comment: T...

For one of the funniest interview/response sessions I've seen in a while, check out this video of Andy Roddick being asked about his love life by a very vocal female reporter. The good stuff starts about 50 seconds in. Thanks to the Globe and Mail 's Tom Tebbutt for the link . (Also in Globe on Sports humour, check out James Christie's post about the "squattie potties", or public toilets in Beijing).

Currently watching the Canada-U.S. showdown at the World Juniors. Good game so far: the first period was a little defensive, but as a Canucks fan, I can hardly complain about that! Canada broke through in the second with a nice goal, and both teams seem to have decided to turn up the offensive pressure as a result. Kyle Turris is having a solid game, and just recorded Canada's second goal on the power play (after the U.S. was called for too many men on the ice) What I find weird about this match is how many, including the Globe's Tim Wharnsby , have labeled the Canadians as underdogs. Sure, they lost once in the group stage this year to a very good Swedish team (who knocked off Russia earlier today to advance to the finals), and came in through a quarterfinal win over Finland, but they've still won the last three world championships, and killed the Russians in the Super Series earlier this year: that deserves a little respect in my books at least. In contrast, the U.S. has...

There were a lot of memorable moments in sports last year, but most were for less-than-stellar reasons. Scandals erupted in every sport from baseball (Steroidgate) to football (Spygate), basketball (Refgate), soccer (Riotgate), and cycling (Landisgate). However, there was never any shortage of good material for sportswriters. Here's some of the year's best quotes: Baseball "It was a pretty serious situation. I pray for his buttocks and his family." - Washington Nationals GM Jim Bowden discusses the abcess removed from the posterior of pitcher Jesus Colome. "It's not lies if we knew the truth." - Toronto Blue Jays GM J.P. Ricciardi on the misinformation he spread about closer B.J. Ryan's elbow "I hope he arouses the fire that's dormant in the innermost recesses of my soul. I plan to face him with the zeal of a challenger." - Seattle outfielder Ichiro Suzuki (via a translator) on facing countryman Daisuke Matsuzaka "He looking for ch...